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  Love Lost

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2015 by Teea Mulligan

  Cover design © 2015 by Teea Mulligan

  Cover image © 2015 by Teea Mulligan

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  ISBN 978-1508949305

  This book is dedicated to my mother. I have never told you this but you are the sole reason for this book. It was you who got me reading at an early age. With your huge library of books, I used to sneak and read them at night while everyone was sleeping. Eventually you started buying books just for me. Thank You. Of all the books you’ve read; you finally deserve one dedicated to you.

  Ashley

  Every night I wish for some form of satisfaction from my love life but each time I’m disappointed. As I sit in the darkness of my bedroom and think how sex can be between us. I could have a man that can make love to my body as if our bodies are bound for a lifetime. My man could honor my every pleasure, but he doesn’t. With every deep thrust into my womanhood and a slow pull out, gracing my walls with erotic passion; I could be screaming to the top of my lungs but I don’t. Instead I’m stuck living my life with the one man I love who can’t please me between the sheets.

  I take in a deep breath of his woody scent. Marcus hates going to bed with any cologne on but I don’t mind his natural scent turns me on. My nose becomes occupied with his scent, making my panties wet with passion. I turn over on my side becoming faced with my sexual oppressor; his snore marinates my thoughts.

  If he understood what I thought of his love making; he wouldn’t be sleep with that smile on his face. My eyes stare at the roughness of his face; his beard covers him from ear to ear and up to his nose. I take my hand and caress his rough stubble. His skin is the color of my favorite caramel candy and his hair forms deep waves that cover his head making any girl wet in the panties. His skin takes me back to being a young girl and my granddad giving me caramels. I would pop them in my mouth and use my tongue to play around with the smooth texture of the candy. Marcus is one good looking man if I do say so myself.

  Although his looks are inviting and he keeps me smiling from time to time; Marcus doesn’t fulfill me physically. Not comparable to when he used to pleasure me when we first met. I’m a walking time bomb waiting to explode; been horny for months and I’m still waiting on that itch to get a good scratch.

  Sitting upright I glance over at his limp body. I love Marcus to death; he just forgot how to make love and fulfill my pleasures. I dwell on, is this relationship worth saving? Am I that superficial, has good sex become an important influence in the relationship; at least enough impact to make me consider leaving him?

  I stand up and creep to the door that guards the hallway. The smell of vanilla fills my nose with warmth and comfort. Creeping out of the room, I tiptoe along the hallway in my two-story home. The pale yellow walls became a path leading me to the fate of the unknown. I enter my guest bedroom and close the door for privacy. These doors have held my deepest secret for six months now. I can’t hold in my excitement because the real pleasure is starting. The bitter air swarms my body causing chills to form on my arms and legs. I walk over to the closet where Mike is hiding patiently.

  "We got all night Marcus is asleep and has me ready to receive real pleasure." I seductively chuckle as I guide Mike over to the bed. I lay on the bed and close my eyes.

  Sexual fantasies crowd my mind; I leisurely rub my thighs as my mind helps me warm up my suppressed horniness. The best thing I love about Mike is the no talking policy. Every time Mike and I have sex, my mind imagines Marcus being there instead. I pull off my panties and fondle my clitoris as if Marcus is watching me. While fondling myself, I take Mike and play around my wetness. The tip of the shaft embraces the edge of my vagina and my wet juices flow like running water. I welcome Mike as he enters me and I suffer goose bumps form over my body. My hips grind in a circular motion and sway my body as if I’m listening to music. Juices were splashing around by Mike’s constant thrusting; my body is dancing to the sounds of love making.

  If Marcus could do what Mike can, my life would be picture perfect. Mike may not be that good scratch that I’m looking for but he keeps my horniness inoperative. Before I met Mike, I was constantly crossing my legs and shifting in my chair. But those were just random ways I could stroke my vagina without being obvious.

  After ten minutes of love making I hurry to get Mike out of sight so he can remain my secret pleasure. Marcus will flip out, if he realized I was receiving pleasure elsewhere, not to mention in the same house while he’s sleeping. Listen, I tried to do it myself but two fingers doesn’t go deep enough. In the end it made the problem worse than it before was; I became hornier.

  I clean the bed before heading back into my bedroom. One by one, I place the black silk pillows back on the bed. Now that Mike is out of sight, I sneak back into the master bedroom where Marcus is sleeping. Sliding into my king size bed; I pull the covers up to my neck, a rush of guilt comes over me.

  My love for Marcus is a connection that can’t be explained with words. I can sense his presence when we are together and his connection with me is boundless when we are apart. He is more than just my fairytale prince, he’s my soul mate.

  ______

  "Hello," my best friend Star answers the phone in a sleepy tone.

  "Hey girl its Ashley, wake up I need girl talk." I plead with her to wake up.

  "What’s going on with you," she asks with a concern in her voice.

  "I think my sexual connection with Marcus is gone."

  "What are you talking about," Star questions me; her voice has become more alert.

  "Girl, I had sex with Marcus…"

  "Okay, that’s your man; how is that serious," She cuts me off, sounding angry.

  "Let me finish first damn; sex with Marcus has gotten terrible. It’s to the point I just have sex with him to keep him happy," I reply with a sensational sickness in my stomach. I never thought I could manifest the words, let alone say them to someone other than my reflection.

  "Ash, I can’t talk right now. I have to be to work in three hours; I have to get sleep how about we meet up for drinks later on."

  "But Star you’re my best friend and I need advice right now."

  "If the sex is that bad; then do your thing. I love Marcus but sex is an important part of the relationship and if he can’t hold it down, then find somebody who can."

  "Are you serious, so basically cheat?"

  "Dead serious," she says with an unusual bitter tone in her voice. Goose bumps form on my arms as I listen to her. "There are plenty good men out there that can take care of home and take care of home if you understand what I mean."

  "Yea but I love Marcus," I plead.

  "And I’m sure he loves you. But end it while you can, on good terms. It starts with the sex, then communication and finally the love."

  "I don’t think your being sincere with this Star. This is my life…"

  "You called me, not the other way around," Star cut me off and now is yelling in my ear. "I told you I had to be up in three hours for work. But, NO, you wanna call and complain about your perfect little life, with the perfect man. I stated what I would do; you can do with it what you please. Call me later and we can meet up for drinks," she says I hear a click in my ear.

  I toss my cell phone on the bed and push a pillow under my arms. I peek over at the clock and realize
that Star is lying. First off, it’s 7: 00am, and she works at 3: 00pm. Second, it’s Friday; and she never works on Friday. This bitch stay lying about stupid shit. Her granny must be visiting because she was in a shitty mood. Star my best friend and I love her but if I didn’t know her personally she’d catch an ass whopping.

  I value what she said; but I don’t want Marcus and me to end on bad terms. Rising to my feet, I walk to the bathroom. Our love is too strong, to let it go sour; but I’m not ready to end things. I mean, what if we can salvage what we have left? Falling out is a mistake. I turn the shower knob completely up, so the water can steam. Sex is a very important part of the relationship and our sex is miserable. Breaking up might not be so bad.

  I step out of the shower butt naked; draped with chilly air against my shapely body makes my spine shiver. I hop on my king size bed and wallow in the satin blue silk sheets. Recognizing this isn’t a good idea and I climb off the bed glancing over the ruined sheets. I check the time and its 8: 30am; I have a meeting with two of my favorite clients at 9: 30 am. I sashay my way to the walk in closet, still in my birthday suit, and grab the blue skirt outfit that Marcus bought me for my birthday. I slide on pink lace underwear, rub my body with lotion that smells like strawberries. I slide on a pair of nude stockings and pull up my tweed pencil skirt. Gently, I put on my navy blue shirt with ruffles on the chest; button by button I fasten my shirt and tuck in the ends. I curl my hair, throw on make-up, and force on my heels, then head out the door to my car. Noting the clock in the car, the time is now 8: 55am; I turn the key to ignite the car and pull out of the drive-way.

  I hope this couple hasn’t been waiting for me; I always believe in unprofessional nature when I’m the one who is late. The warm winter air rushes through my windows as I drive through the city streets dodging potholes. Toledo needs to fix these damn streets. The drive up Bancroft bring smells of the barbeque from the small food truck parked off to the side. My nose is blessed with the wonderful scent of pork ribs, chicken, and polish sausages. The sky is painted with wispy clouds just passing by and birds flying from one place to the next with no real destination. Spring is my favorite season but not for the weather; because my birthday is in April. It’s weird that our winter season is imitating spring. Since February started the weather has gotten pleasantly warm.

  As I pull into a parking space at the Museum on Collingwood, I notice two happy people are waving at me. There is a tall man with fire red hair, pale skin and is shaped like a weak branch on a tree. He’s wearing a tailored black business suit with a gold watch that is horribly concealed by his sleeves. The woman is also tall but has hair brown like dirt and is a lot cockier than the man standing next to her. She’s wearing a red dress that’s fitted against her curves paired with a black stiletto. I get out of my car and exchange hugs and kisses with the couple. The woman steps away to answer her phone before I spoke.

  "How are you Gregory? I see you and Kathy, soon to be Mrs. Kathy Johnson, are both excited today," I greet my client and show off my most sincere smile.

  "The misses and I are doing marvelous. We both are excited to finish up the final details to our wedding. She’s been counting the days down to this final appointment," I can see the excitement in his face as he speaks.

  "You guys are my favorite couple by far. I have done so many weddings but you two mesh well. You have excellent attention to detail and Kathy has creative nature that made this wedding fun to plan. I mean we had our ups, downs, and a fair share of disagreements. But we’ve made it here the final appointment before your big day and I’m positive this will be an event to remember," As Gregory and I were talking Kathy walks in between us two and slaps him on his right cheek. Gregory being so pale, Kathy’s hand print is left as a reminder.

  "What the hell Kathy?"

  "Please don’t what the hell Kathy, me? Gregory you know the nature of what the fuck you did, so own up like a man," Kathy says pointing her finger in his face.

  "Kathy what is the matter with you? Who is that on the phone," I try to intervene but my effort is pointless.

  "Stay out of this Ashley, and FYI that was my best friend on the phone and she just told me very important news.”

  Kathy turns her attention back to Gregory. “Wait no she did me one up, by sending me the pictures Gregory," Kathy is now red in the face, as she is yelling and waving her hands in Gregory’s face.

  "Honey," Gregory is now pleading to Kathy knowing he has done wrong.

  "Save it Greg, its over. Ashley sorry for wasting your time but since Gregory here, thinks it’s okay to fuck my best friend and to throw salt on my wounds they took pictures for me to see. That’s very thoughtful of you two; you guys make me sick," Kathy cries. Deep inside it’s not my business; I lend Kathy my shoulder to cry on anyway.

  “Gregory you should go. I’ll make sure Kathy gets home," as soon as I said that Kathy eyes become wild and she flips out on Gregory.

  "You don’t have to take me anywhere, that’s my car he is driving. So give me my damn keys Gregory. It’s my house, which I own, so please don’t come home. And you should call your new girlfriend, because she said she’s pregnant," saying her last words Kathy walks over to her SUV and drives away.

  "I messed everything up, what did I just do? She is the only woman I love more than my mother," Gregory cries.

  "Call me in the morning and we’ll see where to go from here? Right now she needs space but if you love her like I know you do, make things right," I try to sound sympathetic but more cliché than I wanted. I can't gather the right words to tell him. Truth be told Kathy went easy on him because I would be in jail for three counts of murder.

  “Of course I want to work it out, I wouldn’t be fucking standing here if I didn’t love her,” he raises his voice.

  “Calm down, I know you love her. Just give her time alone. To chase after her now will cause a bigger argument. Are you gonna be ok?”

  “Yea, I’m fine,” he says trying to straighten his posture.

  I say bye to Gregory and walk over to my car. I peek over at him and he is just standing there crying. Glad I received payment for my hard work because this sistah has bills to pay, I get into my car and drive off. As I drive home I can’t help but to think how hard finding and keeping a good friend can be. That’s why I glorify having Star, she would never do that in a million years.

  Ashley

  After experiencing the drama between Gregory and Kathy, I rush home to jump in my bed for a quick power nap. As I pull up to the house, I notice the front door was slightly open. A small amount of fear course through my body as I investigate the open door.

  “Babe are you home,” I yell as I creep through the front doors of my townhouse. That’s weird why the front door sitting open if Marcus isn’t here. Did he forgot to close it when he left?

  “Marcus is you home?”

  “MARCUS,” I yell as I check every room in the house.

  My anxiety levels are now kicking into overdrive and my breathing is becoming heavier. I rush into the living room, grabbing my purse off the glass coffee table as I sit on the brown leather sofa. I shuffle through my purse trying to find my phone.

  Why the fuck was my door just sitting open? I dial Marcus’ number as every possible scenario played over in my head; why is my door is sitting open?

  “Marcus,” I speak as soon as he answers the phone.

  “Hey baby, what’s going on?”

  “The…”

  “Ashley baby you have to speak up because I’m in a meeting,” Marcus cuts me off before I could finish my sentence.

  “Babe when I got home from my meeting the door was sitting wide open. Did you leave it open?” I question him as bring myself to a standing position.

  “Babe, I need you to go to the car and wait for me there…”

  “Wait now you’re scaring me. Should I be concerned?” I say cutting him off.

  “It’s ok babe, I didn’t leave the door open though. That’s why I need you to go get in
the car and wait for me there. I’ll stay on the phone with you.”

  Acting as Marcus says, I grab my car keys and rush to my car. I hope no one was in my house. I slide into the driver seat and lock the doors.

  “Marcus I made it to the car but can you please hurry I’m getting scared,” I say as I slide down in my seat with the phone pressed to my ear. My heart pounds rapidly and my lungs struggle for air. My nerves are so bad I can’t keep the phone steady on my ear and my hands are sweating profusely.

  “Give me a sec, I’m gonna put you on hold so I can inform my colleagues of what’s going on and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Don’t hang up I’m putting you on hold.”

  “Ok,” I say with a shaky voice.

  I sit in fear of the unknown that co-uld be a possible threat to Marcus and me. What if it was some crazed killer who broke into my house? Or someone trying to rob me but didn’t expect me to come home so early? The endless possibilities flow through my mind while I watched the clock. The minutes took longer than sixty seconds to change. I hope Marcus gets here soon.

  After waiting, like two hours, I watch as Marcus’ black Audi A6 pull into the brick paved driveway. I open the door to my black Impala and run to his arms while tears flowed down my face. His arms become like security and strength. I run my hands along his spine as he squeezes my body.

  “Babe, you was taking forever,” I say laying my head on his chest.

  “I told you fifteen minutes.”

  “It felt like two hours and you know me the worst thoughts began to run through my head.”

  “I’m sorry babe, we gone check the house before I let you go back in,” Marcus says with authority.

  “Who is this we, you're speaking of,” I question him.

  “I called KG,” Marcus mentions my drug dealing cousin. I’m not even sure how Marcus can even maintain a relationship with him, they’re from two different worlds. Marcus works at an investment firm and KG sells drugs. When we were teenagers KG’s parents died, and he never been the same since. He became a cold person, and it was very hard for me to establish a relationship with him. My aunt was his mother, and she was like the sunshine in our family. So I guess when the sunshine left KG the darkness overcame him. He’s already been to jail for selling drugs and murder, so I’m very confused why Marcus chooses to hang with him.